Crashing California

So, I just wanted to share a quick video (so you don't think all my blog posts are doom and gloom, lol) this is the song that I wrote at DIVE in January ... I played it at church on Sunday ( for Father's Day, but I have to admit, I was sooooo nervous, cause Jay made me play electric guitar and I suck poo at it, i mean, in general, I'm amateur at best on guitar ...  plus at one point my leg started shaking and wouldn't stop and I was SURE that everyone could see) I guess, needless to say, my dad has been on my mind lately, but I wanted to share the musical (and literal) memoriam of my experience =) ... this is super-douper rough, but will one day soon be recorded for reals by Jay and hopefully expanded into what will soon be a personal project -- I'm starting to pray about it and already God is moving ... so let Him create the space needed and let Him be magnified! Till Next Blog ~ Love, a.

I don't really like Father's Day. it's a day that reminds me I don't have one. it's a day that shoves "daddy-daughter" images of piggy backs, and first dances, bed-time stories and "the best man in the world" images at me, and shows me how much I am missing because my Dad is a no-show. Because my Dad decided he couldn't deal with me. Because my dad, long ago, and also in recent memory has created a daughter that he could deal with in his mind -- one that will always think he's the bomb -- so that the real flesh and blood version wouldn't hurt his feelings anymore than they already are when she realizes that he's grossly inadequate to be a dad (in his mind). in my life I was "rejected" by my dad twice. once when I was a baby, and once when I was a woman, (who felt like a little girl every time he would call.)In finding, and losing, my dad I got to experience the joy of finally having that "best man in the world...

I took this shot this morning on my run ... thought it was kind of appropriate for this post ... life is always a journey ... always running I guess. Running against time, running for reasons, rebellion, whatever it seems, we are always on the run.  I've recently began running again and I didn't think too much of it at first. I used to run all the time at our old beach pad, mainly because the ocean was right there and it was so beautiful, reflective and peaceful.  But I stopped when we moved, a) because there are too many freakin' hills in our neighborhood and it makes it that much tougher to run, and b) it's not particularly beautiful, I mean some places are (see photo) but generally, it's running on roads etc. morning traffic, really not very relaxing. But I decided about 2 weeks ago, I needed to start again. Needed to challenge myself, again.  I like running really, and around here it feels like I'm accomplishing something, what with all the inclines etc. ...

  Just a quick shot of our little birdie buddies =)  We've gotten into the routine of letting them out to explore our home ... all while making sure we clean the poopies! They really are adorable ... and such personalities! Seriously, I don't think I could have guessed that these little lovebirds would have little intricacies we can love and get to know. I Till Next Blog! ~ love a.