The Weekend, and misc. ponderings

This weekend was spent -- with music. It was our first weekend (perhaps many more?) playing at SanDiegoChurch with the team. They practice on Saturdays, at 1:00 at a really cool little church just outside San Diego...so we arrived earlier, and helped set up. There were 5 songs for the service on Sunday -- we practiced for five and a half hours -- it was very exhausting, in fact, I couldn't even describe to you how tired I was. Emotionally and Physically drained afterwards, I felt borderline sick (or coming down with something-ish) and I was ready to crash when we got home (Jay and I went for supper at our neighborhood Chilis) I promptly went to bed when we got home.

Today we went to church and set up (they hold church here in schools, since land is really hard to come by, they literally are a 'church in a van') did the service and spent some time with our friend Werner (I'll have to post some pics at some point) We went for lunch to this little fast food joint called "In-n-Out" which was actually REALLY good, and then came home for a nap, before heading out again this evening to a meet put on by the church for 'newbies', like an introduction, in a coffee shop, where they shared the story of SanDiegoChurch ... I feel pretty comfortable with the church. There is a part of me that is excited to be here, I listen to the Pastor's vision and his calling, and my heart resonates with parts of his mission: to reach people and to be culturally relevant. Our friends Andy and Laura came too, and Andy brought his camera (he's the amazing photographer), so he took some photos, when we get some we'll post them, or send them your way =)

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So that was the weekend. I feel sooooo tired, just from everything. And I'm not sure if it's my physical state contributing, but I'm feeling particularly homesick. Like, for the millionth time, that it's really sinking in that we're here. Everything feels so foreign, and I feel like I should be going "home" soon, but I know that I am here, and I will never be able to "go back"

I feel like I am changing -- on this weird course -- a freeway of sorts, that does not have a U-turn, only exits that are not marked with anything except expectations of what we think things should be, only when we take them, we discover that it leads to something different, perhaps bittersweet, maybe a gentle surprise, but nothing of what we originally thought. It's LIFE on overdrive, with nothing but hanging on to do.

And I feel a little like I'm struggling with what I'm really supposed to be doing here, but I can't believe that God brought us out here for nothing. I have to look at how we came here, again and again, for if I loose sight, I loose my vision. I have to surrender, again and again, because it's all I have now, I have to hold on, even when I feel like I am falling off. And I have to jump, even if I feel like my wings won't hold me up, for it's in the leap that we begin to fly ... (thanks mom)