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Today, I am fighting boredom.

I'm a 'tad' slow on the work front, which can be refreshing and nice, but I have been sitting in that place for a week, and I'm just finding myself so twiddling my thumbs...but feeling too complacent to actually do anything about it. I should be enjoying this time, but I find myself just feeling unsettled, unsatisfied, and I can't put my finger on why.

I took a kickboxing class yesterday (which was yes, really with gloves and punching and kicking things) it was good, it supercharged me, but it wasn't "me". I've found myself lately trying to figure what is really "me"... I have had a "relapse" of sorts when it comes to our "big move". I'm wondering if I will feel at home ... ever. I'm wondering if this "new normal" (as Oprah so politically correct puts it) will ever feel really truly like "me". I'm worried about being able to stay here in this place, so far from everything I have known. I look back in time and it seems like a dream of sorts, like beautiful Canada is so far away, not just in miles, but in life, in time, and soon, will I forget totally some of the "home" things that I cling to now?

So, why am I blabbing all this now on my blog? Just venting really. I know nobody will tell me to stuff it, or stop whollowing in my little pity party, I can tell myself that, and I will. Maybe later ... I need to to go to the beach ...

The photo is for my mom -- Easter Day =) Love you,

a.

Comments

kanadians in korea said…
dear ammee... i think what u are going through is completely normal. there are ebbs and flows with every transition. allow yourself to mellow, and to reflect... find "you" in the everlasting, unchanging character of God, and let his consistency bring you peace today. he will never ever change, and his purpose is unfolding in your life as we speak. i will pray for you. em.
4/11/2007 10:04 PM
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