History in the Making

Happy New Year Everyone!

One of the best things about New Years for me, is how it seems to bring out the dreams of new hope in starting over -- the chance for us to have a clean slate in life and choices. Like if we were having a rough year (as it seems so many have had) because the clock rolls around to midnight and the calendar year begins again, that it's licence to "christen" our dreams and BEGIN NEW.

Really, it's mostly symbolic if we're honest with ourselves -- a good excuse to "begin again". We could do that at any time really. It's an interesting observation to think about how human nature feels the need to have a pinpoint-significant place in time to start over again, to try to fix what might be broken, or start new goals.

Don't get me wrong, I put myself into that category too! In fact, this year Jay and I did up some lofty goals (some not so much) for ourselves, our band and our lives. It does feel good to be able to sit at the edge of the year and ponder what's to come.

Some of my resolutions or goals for this coming year include getting involved in a church again. I feel like my "wounds" (self imposed and not) are healing, and the only way to truly "begin again" is to embrace what I've been running from. I'd love to be able to play piano more and with better skill, so that too is a goal. I also want to paint more, and explore worship through this medium. For our band, we've made some lofty ones, including playing in L.A. and getting paid to record a full length album in a REAL studio. (we also put music video on there!) For Jay and myself, we made many financial goals, like saving money, paying off credit cards and our debts here and over the border, and also a goal to come home around the end of June for visiting and collecting the remnants of our stuff back in Canada -- since I'm pretty sure at this point, we're settled here (for the time being).

Our New Years Eve was spent watching T.V. and filling our faces with not-so-healthy foods recently purchased at our Costco =) We mostly channel surfed (between Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve and Anderson Carson) but the History Channel was running a marathon of "Machines of Malice" the WHOLE evening. It was like watching a car wreck; you wanted to look away and change the channel but it's like you couldn't. I don't know if you're familiar with the program, but basically the whole shows premise is about the mechanics and psychology behind some of the most graphic killing and torture machines throughout our history. Yah, pretty flippin' morbid, and rather awful to think that people came up with that kind of horror to inflict on others. The show would describe how "the condemed" would be treated as they had to endure the malice of "this machine" or the torture of "that". Most depressing was the fact that alot them were used in the middle ages when the "church" was going through the whole "inquisition" deal. What a history to carry in your back pocket. Thinking of it, how blind could you have been, to think that it was right to hurt and kill so many -- (according to the show) even after people "converted" they were still put to death (??!!??) Shake your head -- I have.

Anyways, all that said, brings about another thought, I guess about life and death, and how we are all going to die, it's completely unavoidable. Completely.

I suppose that sounds morbid too, but in light of that fact, the hope that I pull from it, is the nessessity to life absolutely, every day. To embrace what we have and be joyful, peaceful, mournful and strong in all things, or at least, as many things that we can at a given time. I believe that God gives us the grace and mercy to do that and that Jesus changes our hearts, if we let Him in. How wonderful that truth is, to think that there is redemption for "the condemed" (all of us) through Jesus.

So, our history is in the making. Life is very fleeting, another year gone, but another just beginning. May you make the best of your life (and by "best", I do not ness. mean "make it happy") -- even when things are difficult.

Till Next Blog ~ love a.