Restoration of my soul

oh, how far we can come in half a month! I was thinking after a while to try to leave myself a whole 15 days since my last post, but I figured that wouldn't be too nice ... so here I am =)

Been doing ofcourse, a TON since last blog, we had a rock show at the Radio Room in San Diego last week. Was a small turn out but the vibe was good ... for those who don't know, we try to jam every week, so we met this last Tues. and played and our drummer, again, is being a strain. On one note I'm kind of heartbroken because I feel like I'm pouring so much of myself, not to mention effort into trying to get our band off the ground. Sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing it anymore, except that we have these songs ... oh, these songs... I think they're special. Maybe I'm biased? I feel like I don't know anymore. But my heart continues to beat on ... so, so do I.

I've got house hunting going on, friends having babies, work up my arse ... I feel like time sometimes flies by at the speed of light and I'm trying desperately to catch it in my hands, only to find, it's slipping through all the time. I dont' feel (half the time) that I know what I should be doing with my life ... if I'm persuing the right avenues ... sometimes it's all so confusing ... and yet ... shouldn't it be simple? I don't want to be old and barren.

I want to bear fruit, I want to be like the tree planted by streams of living water.

One thing that has excited my heart the last couple days, it the prospect of putting together some worship songs I had written (and am writing) as a project. We know (sort of) the producer of Mercy Me and he's looking for worship tunes, so Jay and I have decided to "submit" (if you will) our offerings to him, I don't even know why fully, but I know that my singing voice cannot stay silent -- I know I wasnt' given a calling direct from God for a reason ... how hard it is sometimes to grasp that fact.

So, we're (just Jay and I) working on a worship album now =)

We're still house hunting, tho, those who know us well, know that our first experience house hunting was short of a VERY bad dream! Shame on HGTV and their "first time home buyer" shows where the cute young couple view three imaculate residences and picks their fave!! We're looking still for a realtor, and I've not given up hope, but still, I feel so overwhelmed sometimes when I see the condition of the markets and where we're at, we're not in a rush that's for sure ... so I think that puts us on a good angle. It's wait and see time with God.

One thing that impressed on my heart, (and I shared this with my Momma H.) is that I cannot believe some of the conditions that a) people will live in. and b) that people will just let their property go to ... Just ruins really. The first home we viewed last week, the garden was brown, the insides; stained, pulled up, run down ... I just thought to myself, how SAD God must feel to have entrusted some with something that was once so beautiful, only to have it run down to ruins, what a waste. A true waste. Looking at the garden in particular made me sad. Brown everything. I wanted to restore it. I think that's how God looks at the world too. Oh, may we be encouraged to restore!! Restore relationships, houses, work places, it all matters.


Otherwise, work is moving along ... I want to be consistent with songwriting and creating.

Thanks for keeping reading it all!

Till Next Blog!Love, a.

(some more pics from the Radio Room)