A Rare Moment
The end of September has come to this corner of the world and my life. Today has been a strange one by any normal "San Diegan's" standards. Our Indian Summer weather (we reached a sweltering 113 degrees on Monday) has brought clashing of the titans, of the cumulonimbus variety into our skies and today is has poured rain and thundered so loud it's setting off car alarms outside. Very rare indeed for this sun-soaked vacation destination.
I have been sitting in my office being able to watch the clouds roll by, they're formidable shapes moving and changing across the east, angry colors bringing shades of rain and sun all day. My supervisor has been in an all day meeting so I've closed the door and turned on some music of the worship variety and have just been working, and for the first time in a long while, enjoying.
I have been so busy, with JC and freelance (well, I still am) but so busy that I haven't been enjoying, I've been plowing through creative process full steam ahead, giving the littlest attention possible to even the most creative jobs. It's been draining, debilitating and Uninspiring. (not good for someone who's creative company is called "Inspired Creativity".)
But this rare moment. As I sit and watch the rain soaking the dry California Asphalt outside, I sit in His presence, soaking in a God I have all too much lately pushed aside and neglected.
The other day I was grocery shopping with Jay and there was a pretty elderly man standing behind us in line, his skin looked like red freckled paper. He had on glasses and a hat and something about him struck me. All he was purchasing was a three pack of Klondike Bars. And I heard it in my heart. "You should buy those for him". Immediately I was trying to ignore it. Thinking it was just me, that he was probably pretty well off, everyone would think I had flipped out, plus, really, would I even know what to say to the cashier "Hey, I'd like to buy those for that man" ... it all floated through my head, like slow motion, and as I went through the motions of paying for my things, I stayed quiet, and so silenced the other small voice. I wish I would have acted. I wish I would have listened. I know that's such a small thing, but it's in those moments that we truly can choose to honor Jesus, or not.
I have thought of that every once in a while this last day. I don't think God is mad that I didn't do anything, nor do I think I sinned. But I DO think I lost out on sharing God's love for that man. and that disappointments me. And it disappoints me that I lack the courage and the faith to speak up and share my heart, share God's love, be His love.
Why is it so hard for me to be bold? I can get on a stage and scream my lungs out for strangers but I can't buy an elder, Klondike Bars.
So, I am praying for boldness, for forgiveness, for peace. All together things have been so good. I am so thankful, for all the rare moments. Most of all right now, this one.
Till Next Blog.
love, a.
I have been sitting in my office being able to watch the clouds roll by, they're formidable shapes moving and changing across the east, angry colors bringing shades of rain and sun all day. My supervisor has been in an all day meeting so I've closed the door and turned on some music of the worship variety and have just been working, and for the first time in a long while, enjoying.
I have been so busy, with JC and freelance (well, I still am) but so busy that I haven't been enjoying, I've been plowing through creative process full steam ahead, giving the littlest attention possible to even the most creative jobs. It's been draining, debilitating and Uninspiring. (not good for someone who's creative company is called "Inspired Creativity".)
But this rare moment. As I sit and watch the rain soaking the dry California Asphalt outside, I sit in His presence, soaking in a God I have all too much lately pushed aside and neglected.
The other day I was grocery shopping with Jay and there was a pretty elderly man standing behind us in line, his skin looked like red freckled paper. He had on glasses and a hat and something about him struck me. All he was purchasing was a three pack of Klondike Bars. And I heard it in my heart. "You should buy those for him". Immediately I was trying to ignore it. Thinking it was just me, that he was probably pretty well off, everyone would think I had flipped out, plus, really, would I even know what to say to the cashier "Hey, I'd like to buy those for that man" ... it all floated through my head, like slow motion, and as I went through the motions of paying for my things, I stayed quiet, and so silenced the other small voice. I wish I would have acted. I wish I would have listened. I know that's such a small thing, but it's in those moments that we truly can choose to honor Jesus, or not.
I have thought of that every once in a while this last day. I don't think God is mad that I didn't do anything, nor do I think I sinned. But I DO think I lost out on sharing God's love for that man. and that disappointments me. And it disappoints me that I lack the courage and the faith to speak up and share my heart, share God's love, be His love.
Why is it so hard for me to be bold? I can get on a stage and scream my lungs out for strangers but I can't buy an elder, Klondike Bars.
So, I am praying for boldness, for forgiveness, for peace. All together things have been so good. I am so thankful, for all the rare moments. Most of all right now, this one.
Till Next Blog.
love, a.
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