Merry Christmas!

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Hope and Beyond

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There has been a lot of emotion for me the last couple days ~ it's hard to describe to someone who doesn't understand. After finding out that my dad that I've never known, is alive and has been looking for me, and after being found by a half sister -- worlds just are not the same.  The very person who's lack of presence has had a mighty hand in shaping the person that I am, is now is this strange half-shadow that is almost within reach, but still not accessible. My heart wants to scream sometimes (a messy mixture of fear, frustration and joy) but I know that I need to give him the space that he needs.  It's all so very messy this life, this love.  God has been the only father's love I have known -- but as I believe that God is creating great healing and restoration to my dad's soul and mine as well. I described this way to a good friend of mine: It's like your life is this little house, with all these windows letting in light, and you know these w...
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If I ever wondered if HE loved me

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So, I'm going to admit how pathetic and "of little faith" I can be with this post. Of course, there needs to be a bit of prelude-type explanation. On Nov. 20th my husband and I will celebrate a special anniversary -- 4 years since leaving our home -- the only one we've known in Sherwood Park, Canada -- and driving, with only our car, clothes and guitars across the border and down, down, down to San Diego, California. (that's 1751 miles south) Our reason for the move was to pursue our music, our mission and our dreams and just a new life, pioneers of sorts. It would take me many blogs to say how many times God has shown me his love through the whole process, from easy stops at border crossings, to precisely timed Visa interviews, to lenient border guards, to miracles in paperwork and finding jobs, it is astounding how He has continually provided for us, and continually strengthens my faith through circumstance. So, enter here and now, almost 4 years later after V...
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Today I have a bad attitude. It's not even like I have a really good excuse, in fact they are pretty pitiful but I'll share. I have this pretty uncanny ability to wake up RIGHT at my alarm ... I'm not talking in the general vicinity of when it goes off, by 5 or 10 mins ... this morning, I literally woke up walked to my phone and my alarm went off, that's like 30 seconds early. So, you would think the morning is off to a good start. I worked out and thought about sitting on my couch with my warm and fuzzy latte in hand and got to the fridge, only to realize that my darling husband had used all the milk. This is not a big deal (or it shouldn't be) but we actually really had no real food anyways, no eggs, not even a bun or toast, so my breakfast hiatus from my day was thwarted. Never fear, I can get food at work - no biggie. So, work is work. I drive, I arrive. It's corporate, and now, thanks to our inter-office move, ridiculously quiet. And it's good, none ...
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