Day 4
So, I had what Jay is lovingly referring to as my first "Break-through" yesterday. After a VERY trying day at work (with the lay-offs and uncertainties, and finding out that three other people that i work closely with, two of which were friends, are also gone) I was pretty dis-heartened, exhausted and, well, hungry.
We got home and were going to have to rush to Dave's home for worship practice, so there was no real time to cook anything, and the fast is so restrictive that really, unless you plan, things are hard to find. I stood in my kitchen, thinking of the day, and how all I really wanted to do was fricken EAT! Something good, something that would just fill me because I felt drained! And I started to cry.
I started to cry because I felt exasperated that I couldn't just eat and feel good, and then I kept crying because I realized that I was eating (and have truly eaten in the past) to comfort myself. Food is comforting after all, and there is nothing wrong with that really, unless you abuse it. But when you are in a space where you are starving your flesh and trying to feed your spirit. Well, your flesh gets angry, and it threw a bit of a tantrum at me yesterday.
I did recover, felt kind of silly, but then realized the depth (just a bit) of what we are doing, the road we are on with this fast. It is NOT comfortable, and there is NO way that I would be able to do this unless, I was a) doing it because it serves a spiritual purpose and b) doing it with my best friend =)
Jay's hardest day so far, is today. He had a horrible sleep last night so was tired and, like me, is starting to feel the "hole" that is left, the cravings that come. And he got a tooth ache today to boot ... so please be keeping us in your prayers!! We need it, and we are praying too!!
Today's devotion was on Drinking Deep -- Living Water. And every time we drink today we are reminded of the encounter at the well, where Jesus talked to the Samaritan woman of living water, of which, if we drink, we will never thirst again.
So, I meditate on that today ... and may God continue to wipe every tear from our eyes -- that we may see him clearly.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your living water, the water that never goes dry, The spring that is always bubbling forth with life. Thank you for showing me true worship, and teaching me the beginnings of sacrifice. May we lay our dreams at your feet and hunger and thirst for Righteousness, for your Namesake. Thank you for your strength, we need it in these days Lord.
Amen
On a very separate, side note, it is my Dad's Birthday today. I called him and talked with him for 3 mins ... they are living in his tour bus right now, somewhere in the midst of South Carolina, with almost no phone service ... strange days ... I still love him.
Till Next Blog ~ love, a.
We got home and were going to have to rush to Dave's home for worship practice, so there was no real time to cook anything, and the fast is so restrictive that really, unless you plan, things are hard to find. I stood in my kitchen, thinking of the day, and how all I really wanted to do was fricken EAT! Something good, something that would just fill me because I felt drained! And I started to cry.
I started to cry because I felt exasperated that I couldn't just eat and feel good, and then I kept crying because I realized that I was eating (and have truly eaten in the past) to comfort myself. Food is comforting after all, and there is nothing wrong with that really, unless you abuse it. But when you are in a space where you are starving your flesh and trying to feed your spirit. Well, your flesh gets angry, and it threw a bit of a tantrum at me yesterday.
I did recover, felt kind of silly, but then realized the depth (just a bit) of what we are doing, the road we are on with this fast. It is NOT comfortable, and there is NO way that I would be able to do this unless, I was a) doing it because it serves a spiritual purpose and b) doing it with my best friend =)
Jay's hardest day so far, is today. He had a horrible sleep last night so was tired and, like me, is starting to feel the "hole" that is left, the cravings that come. And he got a tooth ache today to boot ... so please be keeping us in your prayers!! We need it, and we are praying too!!
Today's devotion was on Drinking Deep -- Living Water. And every time we drink today we are reminded of the encounter at the well, where Jesus talked to the Samaritan woman of living water, of which, if we drink, we will never thirst again.
16 ‘Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat down on them,’nor any scorching heat.
17 For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; ‘he will lead them to springs of living water.’‘And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.’ ~ Revelation 7:16-17
So, I meditate on that today ... and may God continue to wipe every tear from our eyes -- that we may see him clearly.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your living water, the water that never goes dry, The spring that is always bubbling forth with life. Thank you for showing me true worship, and teaching me the beginnings of sacrifice. May we lay our dreams at your feet and hunger and thirst for Righteousness, for your Namesake. Thank you for your strength, we need it in these days Lord.
Amen
On a very separate, side note, it is my Dad's Birthday today. I called him and talked with him for 3 mins ... they are living in his tour bus right now, somewhere in the midst of South Carolina, with almost no phone service ... strange days ... I still love him.
Till Next Blog ~ love, a.
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