I was inspired today ...

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rain . my heart is dry but I'm still singing.
finally!

I know it's been a long while since I've written anything here ... and please know (always) it's not on purpose ~ work has been a tornado of busy for me the last three weeks ... I tallied on Friday I had sent a cool 100 files to print the last 7 days, and had a stack of proofs on my desk that afternoon to prove it. Life has been busy.

Let's recap quickly ...

I finished the Daniel Fast almost three weeks ago now.  The second time through the fast was quite a bit different than the first.  I experienced a closeness with God that I haven't felt in a long while (maybe ever).  The aftermath of the fast though, was also totally different than the last.  Last time through I battled my flesh during the fast.  This time, I battled it after.

I spent the last two weeks and almost three days into this week, really struggling with emotions ... with anger (which, if you know me, is strange in itself, I'm not generally an angry person. But I found myself angry about almost everything, from work, to home, to worship, to my dad) I struggled with filling myself with food, drink, stuff ... all the while, the memory of my closeness with God the previous three weeks -- misty and far away.  I think it came down to this: (among some other things which for now will remain nameless) ... I was filled and content with the presence of God for three weeks, but as I was denying my flesh, it was silently plotting to get back at me ... and I let it win for a while.  My turning point was this last week on Tuesday night, I went for coffee with a dear friend of mine from church and shared with her what I was struggling with presently and her listening to me ministered to me so deeply, it's like something cracked, it's weird, I can't even explain it but I'm so glad it did!  I realized that I am not alone.  God may sometimes be close, sometimes feel far away ... he may choose to be silent for a while, but He is never far.

On Friday I bought a new worship album from Rita Springer (love her!!) Called "Beautiful You" ... and I popped it on today during our "winter storm" of rain and wind and all of a sudden I felt peace again ... and all of a sudden, I felt like painting again ... to put it plainly, I haven't painted, literally I think it's been over a year ... I don't remember when. I've had this canvas sitting on my easel -- blank for all this time, and as I was listening to Rita this song came on, called Rain Down ... and I was taken by the lyrics "my heart is dry, but I'm still singing" ... and with the rain outside, the rain finally touched my heart, finally touched parched ground.

I have a lot of healing to do, and a lot of growing. God is pruning me but it is good.
I will try to write again soon =)

Till Next Blog ~ love, a.


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