Dont' Feel Guilty!

Calavera Lake at Sunrise

I am enjoying my time.  Or at least, I'm trying to.

One thing that I want to make sure to do, everyday before I'm gone, is to really enjoy my life.  I don't have to have a big house, or fancy cars, or fancy stuff, but I want the quality of my life to matter.  I want to be so filled with joy, with the Spirit, with life, that it spills out of me without even trying. 

Some mornings I wake up and finally get my butt out the door to run, and I don't rush myself to finish. I have a feeling of entitlement I guess ... maybe it's wrong, and you could say I am selfish ... but with my time, I am.

I spend 8-9 hours (on a good day) in front of the computer screen, with fluorescent lights above my head. Staring into the LED box from which I make my living by turning my ideas into a picture on screen.  One can begin to feel a bit like a drone, day after day.  Same place, same time. Five days in a row. Sitting and staring. Sitting and staring.

As this screen and this job sucks the time from my life, minute by minute I don't feel guilty about taking an extra 20 mins in the morning to run the streets and paths close to my home which God has given me. Taking in the sky, squinting into the sun or feeling the mist of marine layer that is the promise of the ocean miles from my home,  taking in the air that smells of eucalyptus, citrus, or roses (depending on the street). 

the sunrise over Mount Calavera

You see, everyday we trade our time here on earth for money or love (among other things). Time is more precious than almost anything. We have only a limited supply of it,  it's measured out to us the day we begin to form, cell by delicate cell, within the womb and one day we will cease to be confined by it.

So, as I spend my time here. I desire to be wise. If that means spending a couple extra moments of my morning, basking in the quietness that surrounds me when I'm finished and spent inside — all I want to do is close my eyes and just listen ... to the quiet babble of breeze and distant cars and the birds singing and echoing off the ravine walls. It's the whisper of the earth where I am. It's still time well spent.

I may not know what I'm doing with my life ... I prob. never really will. These dreams that seem silly, or the family that I don't have ... I keep moving forward through my days, trying to be creative, trying to give love to those around me.  I don't know that any of my dreams will be realized, and yet, when I'm able to pull myself away from all else, I'm at peace, and I guess that's a life well lived.

May you have a peaceful and rest-fill weekend friends! Don't let "life" steal your time. Spend your time to really LIVE your life, in gratitude, stillness and love.

Till Next Blog ~ love a.