Crashing California

Digging at hearts Do I believe these happen? in one word, yes. I don't know that there is any specific way to for sure, for sure TELL that you've heard from the God ... some pastors or teachers have a list that you can pull from to measure against scriptures, align with the words of Jesus, etc, etc.  And God can speak in a variety of ways, some miraculous and others, not so much, but just as divine.  Sometimes, when I think I hear God, it's in the form of a self-conversation. Let me explain.  I'll be praying and thinking and wondering what God might actually tell me in a certain situation and sometimes I'll hear an answer.  My (very, very unofficial gauge) as to whether it's from God, is; is the statement really, so superly smart that there is no way I could have come up with it ... and also, it's usually very short, like two to three words or one quick sentence.  I know, I know, that sounds a bit fruity, and I guess it is, but they don't call...

Sometimes you find God in the strangest places ... actually, I think you find Him more in the strange places than the ordinary. Yesterday night I found Him in the Doll Hut, a classic tiny-as-a-tart rockabilly/punk/alternative club just one exit North of Disneyland. We were playing a Thursday night show at this place, we had never heard of, but it's pretty well known, a little bar (I'm not exaggerating about the little, it's small) right off the freeway but down this weird service road that looks like it goes no where.  Some huge names have played the Doll Hut in history; Tool, Green Day, Brian Setzer and No Doubt have apparently all graced the stage. We arrived a bit too early (my fault) and just hung out, set up and chatted with our regular 5 people who come to our shows (Kristin, John's beautiful wife and our ever lovely photographer, Mike's girl at the time, and a couple freinds) and we were seriously preparing to play to the usual cameras and couple peeps ...

from my Saturday walk on the beach, a buried treasure I've decided to do the Daniel Fast again -- after pondering and realizing that I want to get close to God, seek His face and really just sort of "reset" my physical, mental and spiritual life. Last time I started the fast I also started the rigorous exercise program called P90X ... so, in traditional Amy fashion, I'm up for the challenge, so have also started another round of P90 with the fast. When thinking about this fast, a bunch of things went through my mind, including, do I really want to do this again, haha. It's hard! My mind will be at war with my body AND my spirit for a bit, but I think the rewards ,what I will gain through this will be worth it. So here I am, again =)  Day One of the Daniel Fast and P90x, it's only 10 a.m. and I am already feeling a bit of pressure ... mostly cause one of the things I missed most last time (and this time) and struggled with is the drinking ONLY water p...

I  have a confession.  And this confession will really either educate you all on my personality and being, or make you think I am right crazy (or a bit of both, lol) but I know that those who read here can be trusted =) I ran into a particular "issue" of the variety that requires antibiotics this week. No biggie right.  Here is the something that you might not have known about me. I have a complete phobia of taking pills.  It's not the swallowing them deal that scares me, it's the list of side-effects a mile long that come with whatever said drug I am needing to consume.  I don't know what it is but my mind runs rampant with ever ache, pain, tingle, and tinge that is not normal and thinks that I must be having an adverse reaction to whatever I am taking and I get incredibly (unusually) anxious about taking further pills, until about 3 or 4 pills in, till I really do realize that they are NOT infact killing me, and I can relax. I literally have to psyche ...

Mom and Me ~ in and around SD! and yes, we do have the same flipflops ... lol those are both our feets! This last week and a bit has been very out of the ordinary -- my mom flew down to visit for a week during my birthday -- which was pretty cool and coincided with Jay flying off to Hawaii to spend some time with his Dad for a week. My mom left on Wednesday and I couldn't help but feel rather isolated. With my mom AND my husband both more than equally thousands of miles a part from me. But I don't know that lonely was the word.  I have been trying to pray to God and just know that He is with me. But I would not like to do life alone. I guess it's good to realize that every once in a while. This morning is raining down our winter from the heavens and I am enjoying some brewed java for the first time in a while (my coffee maker broke, so last night I went out and bought a small coffee press, I've always wanted one, and this one is large enough for just one cup, ...

{Can I just say for the record (completely NOT the content of my blog) I can't stand it when people come into my little crap-tastic office for two and begin a conversation with my co-hort by either a) speaking another language (spanish) or b) speaking in a very low/whisper type voice so as too assume that I cannot hear what they are saying, and really I can't, but still, I'm like 5 feet away ... c'mon people ... just happened at any rate, in case you couldn't tell, haha ... onto the blog} Reflections can be what you see in a mirror, a lake or other body of water, maybe a piece of "shiny something" ...and being the beginning of this year, 2012, it's time to do some reflecting, and also some "future gazing" ... it's a good day for that as I got my first, "call back" interview with a company I had met with before Christmas.   -- I can now confirm, I am completely disengaged with the whole JC machine.  In reality I am just wait...

I am caught in an interesting point of reflection.  We are playing a show tonight (a very late one at that, so that sucks slightly) so we jammed quick and have come home here to chill before we make the 40 min drive down into San Diego, to the Ruby Room to get on stage at 11:00 pm ... so here i sit, all made up ... with my glitter and boots and heavy eyeliner, in an odd reflection.   It's times like these I wonder a bit why we are doing this.  Off we go, to another (prob. empty) club, with a small stage, dirty floor and crappy sound system, to bleed our creativity and souls out on the stage and over the floor and hope that it soaks into someone out there ...I wonder sometimes if it will really matter, and what God really thinks of this, does he love me in my war paint that I say I put on for him?  Is it really for him? for His glory? or am I just attaching the name of Jesus to my dreams so that no matter what they are, somehow they seem valid and meaningful?...